Sunday 27 April 2014

The Rains of Castamere






 'And who are you?' the proud lord said
'That I must bow so low.
 Only a cat of a different coat
That's all the truth I know
In a coat of gold, or a coat of red
A lion still has claws
And mine are long and sharp my lord
As long and sharp as yours.'
And so he spoke, and so he spoke
That lord of Castamere
But now the rains weep o'er his hall
With no one there to hear
Yes now the rains weep o'er his hall
And not a soul to hear. 

                                             




The Rains of Castamere tells the story of Lord Reyne's rebellion against The Lannisters, overlords of the region known as the Westerlands.

House Reyne had been promised a marriage into the Lannister family, only for it to be withdrawn and offered to the Freys at the last minute [no doubt due to political machinations]. This knocked Reyne's nose out of joint, prompting the house to take up arms. 

The red lion of Reyne pitted against the gold of the Lannisters. Two cats each with long, sharp claws.

After initially starting off as the favourite in the conflict due to the weakness of the Lannister leader Tytos, the Reynes' early victories were turned on their head by Tytos' son Tywin Lannister. The golden lion's forces besieged the Reynes' castle, forced home the advantage and destroyed the rebels. 

No Reynes survived. The red lion erased forever more.

It's unclear whether the exchange in the poem is supposed to have taken place or whether it's merely a metaphor intended to romanticise the feud between the two houses. Ultimately that distinction is irrelevant. What matters is the hauntingly powerful content. How it illustrates the Game of Thrones world; what it tells us about our society and how we should treat others.

We should stop and ponder the poem any time we get the urge to send our food back when we're in restaurants because the cuisine might be slightly different to what we expected. In that dynamic the waiters have the power, they'll spit in your lasagne; they'll rub your asparagus up their arse cracks; they'll gargle your soup. It's not worth it. If I found broken glass in my food and the waiter came over to ask how i'm finding my meal i'd crunch 'very good thanks, nice' through my glass-shard smile and bleeding gums. I'd raise a quivering thumbs up before passing out from the pain as soon as the restauranteur faded back into the smoke of kitchens.

You must always think of the consequences of your actions when faced with those who can hurt you.

Lord Reyne didn't. In that scenario Lord Reyne would be an over-opinionated Yorkshireman tutting, clucking, and checking his watch every minute his bangers and mash were taking to cook. When the meal was finally presented he'd roll his eyes with indignant dismissal. He'd send the dish back because the mash potato isn't white enough. Once in the kitchens the waiters and chefs would allow the pet cat to roll around in the food before bringing it back out. The Yorkshireman would gulp it down and try to get out of paying.

The Yorkshireman, like so many from that wretched region, displayed arrogance, hubris and ignorance....but crucially, he lacked a self-awareness of the situation and paid dearly by digesting a rancid compound of sausage, potato, cat hair and fleas.

'And who are you?...That I must bow so low'

 This is no way to talk to the richest family in Westeros. It strikes of a haughty attitude, it's the kind of language that creates enemies and the last kind of enemy you want in Game of Thrones is one that is exceedingly rich; in charge of your local area and is murderous and unscrupluous in securing and maintaining power.

There is nothing to be gained by acting like this. Insult your boss at work you will be sacked. If you insult a police officer you will be arrested. If you insult your doctor it may be the difference between obtaining life-saving treatment or sub-par, death-bringing treatment. Yet so many in society bark at their peers, put people's backs up, bespoil their image for no real reason other to sate their own narcissism.

This rule isn't just for situations where you are the lesser in the relationship either. 

It rings true for all situations, as all men are the potential architects of your downfall. The Roman emperor Caligula would mock a palace guard named Cassius on a daily basis. Cassius was a seasoned Roman war-hero but apparently suffered from a high pitched voice. Whenever Cassius entered the room or walked nearby, Caligula would mock and hurl insults:

'Ooo-eee!'

'Stop inhaling party balloons you silly goose!'

Are some of the insults Caligula might have shouted. The point is he did shout stuff like this and he apparently made Cassius kiss his hand in an offensive manner too. 

One day Cassius walked up to Caligula as the Roman Emperor was addressing an acting troupe ahead of a theatrical meeting; the soldier brandished a blade and stabbed Caligula 30 times in the chest until the leader of Rome dropped to the ground and died in a pool of blood.

So much for Caligula.

Oh how we see such parallels with the demise of Joffrey. The TV show hasn't definitively announced who poisoned the pixie-faced shit yet but it will doubtless be somebody he has upset by his actions or words. 

Tywin Lannister does not make this short-sighted mistake of needlessly offending. 

Think back to every scene of his you have witnessed, you will struggle to find one where he outwardly and obviously insults the person he is speaking to [his children aside].

Indeed in 'The Lion and The Rose', Tywin enters into a dialogue with Lord Oberyn of Dorne and despite the Dornish prince accusing Tywin of sanctioning rape, child-murder, and generally being impoverished, Tywin resists the urge to respond in kind - instead, he opts to make light of gout before wishing the Southerners a pleasant stay.

Might then have House Reyne succeeded in Game of Thrones had they concealed their intentions, acted with a shred of subtlety and bided their time? Alas they did not. And now the poem brings us to the modern day:

'Now the rains weep o'er his hall and not a soul to hear'

Lord Reyne's hubris has resulted in his hall crumbling in wind-swept isolation. It is nowt more than a monument of rubble. The rain pours onto the hall but there is nobody left inside this palace to hear the beating of the water against the glass.

Might you then enter that hall of Castamere? 

What would you find? 

At first glance you'd note that the floor would be covered in brick that has fallen from the walls. It would break under the placing pressure of your feet. Your footsteps would echo throughout the dusty room, bringing momentary life to this dead abode. The few rays of light that seep through the stained glass would light up nothing but passing shadows on the wall.

This is the hall of those who would blindly dish out offence without contemplating consequence.

Avoid this hall at all costs. Do not so cheaply create enemies and,well, if you heed this warning you might just go on to hear the rains beat o'er your own hall for many more nights to come.



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