If you're like me you'll have noticed that where the year was once separated into the four seasons 'Spring' , 'Summer' , 'Autumn' and 'Winter' it's now taken on a totally different complexion segmenting into thirds: 'Summer', 'Winter' and....'Game of Thrones'.
Time to enter the Game of Thrones season my friends.
It's back. It's only bloody back and potentially it's going to better than ever.
'What are you basing that on you jibbering idiot' I hear you cry.
Hear me out...
In the build up to the previous seasons, we could more or less predict the general narrative of what was to come. Joffrey needed bringing down [or needed protecting if you're of the mindset that seemingly A-sexual animal-abusers with no empathy tend to make the best rulers].
Tywin was still the top dog, would he finally meet his end?
The Wildlings were promising to attack the wall.
Daenerys was visiting more sun-kissed resorts than a Majorcan coach of Thomas Cook holidaymakers as she moved around the Essos map in what I like to brand 'the gnat movement' [up, down, up, right, left, down again, up, right].
And of course Stannis has been standing on his balcony ever since Blackwater, staring out across the rippling sea, fixed to the spot in pure seething anger.
Well...Tywin's dead! We think. Shot on the toilet by Tyrion. I say 'we think' because Tyrion's shots were, lets face it, pretty shit. He shot him in the hip and the shoulder. Could Tywin survive from those wounds? Just jog them off?
In one of the closing scenes of season four we saw Varys step off the boat and appear to make his way back to the Red Keep, but on hearing the bells, thought 'its all gonna kick off here, I'm out', he jumped back onto the ship and sailed off with Tyrion.
The bells more than likely signaled Tywin's death, so I think it's safe to say Tywin succumbed to his hip and shoulder injury.
Joffrey's dead! He definitely is dead. When his mother had sex over his corpse, he didn't flinch a muscle, so he has to be dead. Even a man with Joffrey's mind-numbing sexual perversions probably would want to exit the scene pretty sharpish if he witnessed his parents having sex within a foot of his body - that's too much to bear for anyone.
The Wildlings attacked the wall and were repelled by the heroics of Jon Snow and his merry band of crows.
And Stannis left his balcony, appearing at the death of the Wildling's attack on the wall, saving the realm by hitting Mance with a cavalry flank attack.
Most of the plot lines that have dominated the previous four seasons have seemingly been dealt with.
Everything is now cock-a-hoop.
With no Tywin and no Joffrey, what happens to the Lannisters? As Tyrion is the oldest male heir able to inherit [Jamie is Kingsguard] does our favourite dwarf now have control of one of the most powerful armies in Westeros? Or would his status as a father-killer and a king-killer result in his immediate execution if he returned to within an inch of King's Landing or Casterly Rock?
If Jamie renounces his status as Kingsguard and takes control of the Lannister dynasty. Are the Lannisters now, dare we say it, the good guys?
Who saw that one coming?
Obviously as we've said before there are no good guys or bad guys in Game of Thrones, but given Jamie's redemption storyline, the audience would surely sympathise should our handless hero step into his father's shoes. Of course all this sickly sweet stuff can be avoided if Cersei takes control, possibly the only remaining Lannister who inspires a Tywin / Joffrey level of nastiness.
The Starks as we knew them have been pretty much wiped out. If the North is to finally 'remember' and strike back, it'll have to come in the form of their disparate young children or from old allies such as great Lord Umber perhaps with the aid of Blackfish [if he's finished having a piss] and Edmure.
The Stannis storyline could go anywhere. It appears that a Stannis / Jon Snow / Mance alliance could be on the cards. They all seemed fairly pally with one another at the close of season four. It's unclear how that will work out. Will the Night's Watch allow Mance's people safe passage behind the wall in face of the greater threats from the White Walkers? Will the new triple alliance attack the Boltons and hand Jon revenge for the brutal murders that took place at the Red Wedding?
Can Reek remember that's he's actually Theon and escape the psychopathic Ramsey?
What are the Dornish going to do? They'll want to avenge the death of Oberyn [wipes tear].
The trailers for season five seem to show Daenerys in a spot of bother with people decked out in gold clothing, donning masks reminiscent of the Immortals off the film 300. Something big looks to be happening over at Essos this season. Where's Jorah going to go now he's homeless? Will he be dancing for some loose change in the gutters of Qarth?
As you can see from my wild 'what about this, what about thattery', absolutely anything can happen in season five.
This is a brand new world. A world of new possbilities, new heroes and new malevolents.
Everything has changed.
Everything...will change.
The only thing I can guarantee is that season five is going to deliver the shocks, unforeseen deaths, power changes, charismatic new characters, and general brilliance that the other seasons have served up thus far.
It's going to be brilliant. Make sure you don't miss a second.
Oh and I almost forgot
As the Hound lay dying from open woods and critical blood loss he said that the only way he'd survive is if a maester was hiding behind the rocks nearby.
Well I sure hope there comes a frail old man to stitch the dog back together again.
I'll miss our chicken-eating, silver-looting, Syrio Forel-mocking son of a gun if he's allowed to perish.
If the Mountain did survive the Viper's attacks, I'd quite like Sandor to be the one that sticks the final knife into that monster.
But then again maybe that's me being the old romantic and hoping for 'justice'.....and as Tyrion once said of the world of Game of Thrones - 'If you're looking for justice, you've come to the wrong place.'
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